Happiness is. . .

By Georgie Bright Kunkel

Happiness is a concept that varies over time and is different for every person.

In the past, a woman depended upon a husband for her livelihood. Some women withheld sex to get what would make them happy. That wouldn't work for me as my husband could no longer collect on such a reward. Besides, we don't play those games in our marriage. Maybe that is one reason it has lasted for over 60 years.

So what is happiness anyway?

My husband would say it is getting out of bed to the walker without any help from anyone and going on sightseeing trips in our son's van. For me, happiness is being able to drive, shop for groceries and lift them into the car all by myself. It is getting up in the morning without creaking more than a moment or two. It is playing pinochle, our family card game, when our offspring drop by.

When my own mother was getting older, her doctor told her that her arthritis (or rheumatism as they called it in her day) would leave her stiff in the joints. She said to herself, "Not me." So she walked a mile each morning before going to work and never lost her mobility. She learned to create a life of increased happiness for herself even though she was a widow left with ten children.

Earlier in her life she realized that my brother, who was then a toddler, would fall down when he tried to walk. She decided to massage his muscles twice a day to strengthen his legs. It worked. Only recently have doctors prescribed this treatment for a young child's weak muscles. The neighbors thought that my mother was coddling my brother but in her infinite wisdom, she knew better. My brother became a noted long distance runner which provided great happiness for him.

Happiness is being able to use intellect and common sense to run one's life instead of relying on TV sound bites, hearsay or commercial seduction to dictate what happiness should be. Will our children, whom we have sometimes spoiled and over-protected, think for themselves and create their own happiness? Fortunately our own grandchildren, even those brought up in relative luxury, have a strong work ethic. They know what makes them happy and are willing to work for the happiness they seek.

Our happiness quotient would be higher if we focused on our own well being - our family, young children growing up, and our friends and neighbors. Instead, we often bury our own sense of life purpose and substitute a focus on the horrendous events around the world over which we have no immediate control.

As I often have said, "When problems arise, be sure that your own oxygen mask is secured before helping others." After all, happiness is knowing that outside of the mayhem on news broadcasts there are a lot of people who live decent lives and are being helpful neighbors in their communities. So let's not let the world news divert our attention from taking care of living the best life each one of us can live. Add up all those who are doing just that and we are on the road to world peace, the ultimate happiness.

Georgie Bright Kunkel is a freelance writer and speaker who can be contacted at gnkunkel@comcast.net