First, say something witty to distract the customer from thinking about her coffee budget.

Then the first order of business, post-exchange, is to steam the milk. When espresso shots sit, they bitter quickly. The aeration rate of espresso is faster than almost any known substance, even avocadoes.

Broenwynn fires up the steam wand to clean out all the residual milk goo. A quick blast of steam provides cheap entertainment for the customer as well. Enough smoke and mirrors (chrome plating of the espresso machine) and Broenwynn creates the effect of being in a funhouse. Plus, it adds mystique.

She is hypnotized by the milk as it bubbles, froths, and foams. The phase change of milk into plasmatic foam boggles her mind. This is a universal effect.

This is also an opportune time for Broenwynn to subject her foaming skills to the conversation test. It's a simple litmus test. If a barista can talk over the squealing steam wand, then her technique is on. If her voice is drowned out by what sounds like a freight train, then it's back to coffee school.

Last, but certainly not least, comes the espresso, the finicky beast. Aeration is the arch nemesis of espresso. So Broenwynn grinds up the beans custom. One shot, two, three.... at about four shots the latte starts to taste like Ballard Avenue, but that's how some people are.

Now, this is where the amateurs get separated from the pros. The ability to tamp grounds is the mark of a true barista, and it is arguably the part of the coffee-making process that has the greatest impact on flavor. Tamp too lightly, and the shot projects through the grounds like water from a fire hydrant. Tamp too aggressively, and the shot takes longer to fill than the Ballard Locks. The process may look simple, but it takes practice, and a good sense of balance. Baristas are quite subtle creatures.

Now, a question: Who likes to count to 20? Answer: No one over the age of 5. Unfortunately, as they say in the biz, "You can't rush espresso." Broenwynn smiles cheek-to-cheek to pass the time.

The finished shots will look like mini pints of Guinness. A good barista takes care to preserve the head (cr