Once I wanted to join the local garden club and was asked for my resume. I sent in a five-page list of my educational background and accomplishments and soon received a letter stating that I was accepted into membership.

But first the president asked me one question. "Why didn't you mention anything about gardening?" I answered with complete honesty. "I have never gardened in my life and would like to learn more about it. That's why I want to join your club."

Talk about self-disclosure and you only have to look at what I downloaded from a forwarded e-mail recently. I was to tell 30 things about myself whom the survey called the Lady of the Manor - her title, her morning routine, her favorite masterpiece - stuff like that. I hate those things and decided to have a little fun. Here goes.

Where she spends most of her time: Taking care of her husband.

Her Dog: She doesn't believe in owning another creature.

Best souvenir: Ash from Mt. St. Helens

Favorite Masterpiece: Don't believe in calling anything a MASTERpiece

Lady limitations: None. She isn't a lady since she is not married to a lord.

Obsolete item she won't part with: Eight track tape recorder.

If you could see the collection of outmoded stuff I should throw out, you would wonder if I am a compulsive collector. Maybe my husband should turn me in to Dr. Phil. so his crew could come and clean out our junk and haul a lot of it away.

Now you may ask, "Are you still in the garden club?" And I will tell you that I gave it up after I got honorable mention in the flower arrangement judging and had learned all there was to learn about garden maintenance. In those days my husband spent every clear day outdoors. There wasn't one dead rhododendron blossom still clinging to the plants in the yard. There wasn't a raspberry bush needing any further pruning. And there wasn't a leaf lying about anywhere.

Oh, there was one thing we hadn't learned until we attended the Garden Show at the Convention Center. And what was that one thing? That the man of the house needed to pee around the backyard pool to discourage raccoons from killing the goldfish. Yes, there is something to be said for marking one's territory.

But if we can't curb global warming, our shoreline territory here in the Seattle area will shrink considerably and there won't be much territory left to mark. Then we'll have to learn to share instead of hoarding our little corner of the earth. Will we be up for this challenge? Only our descendants far into the future will know for sure.

Georgie Bright Kunkel is a freelance writer and speaker. For information contact her at gnkunkel@comcast.net or 935-8663.