I had an interesting talk this summer with a bunch of 13-year olds.

We were in the San Juans for a week together, and one night the six teenaged girls and I stayed up late talking together. One of the things we talked about was sex. What you know about it. When you try it. How you are safe. How some of their friends are already (!) doing it.

And you know what the scariest thing about the talk was?

The feeling I had that a few of the girls had never been comfortable talking about sex before.

I don't quite get what it is about our country and sex. We run and hide from it, and then we are surprised that our kids secretly sneak outside and get pregnant. We talk about abstinence-only education and good morals for our kids and then watch them deal with pregnancies at 17. We think that if we just close our eyes tightly enough, sex just isn't going to interest them until later on.

Bad mistake.

I was one of those kids that gave parents heart palpitations. In my defense, my riskiness was always over one guy, my childhood sweetheart. Looking back, sure my parents were scared. But I remember how my dad handled it all, talking to me about sex and birth control, and having my doctor put me on the pill at 17 (yeah, it wasn't quite familiar territory for my mom).

I have approached these years with the same philosophy of openness with my daughter. So far, it seems to work. We talk about sex and about boys, and, so, far she isn't shutting me down. Of course, she doesn't do the boy thing really yet. Sex is still just something she sees in a chick flick. But at least there are no mysteries.

In these final weeks before the presidential election, I have been thinking a lot about this - about our society and the choice before us. I don't doubt for a second that there are people who still believe in abstinence-only education, and about "just say no" being the safest way for teens loaded with hormones. But, boy that concept has never seemed real to me.

With this in my heart, I am taking my daughter to see "Spring Awakening" at the Paramount this week. The Tony Award-winning show is about teens being repressed, and tragedy that can result. In fact, one character in the musical is shocked that she becomes pregnant, telling her mother that it couldn't happen to her because she isn't married.

My daughter is 13, and the producers of the show say no one younger than that should go to the show. I know every teenager is different. Some parents may think 13 is way too young to learn about sex, or to see a musical about it and talk about it afterwards. I know my daughter, and know that there is no surprise for her in what she will see. And if there is? I want to be the one with her to talk about it.

In the end, I guess that would be my wish for 13-year olds. I wish that there were no surprises. I wish they knew about drugs before they were offered them. I wish they knew that bullying could happen before it happened. I wish they knew about sex before they were asked to have it. And I wish they had someone sit down with them and talk to them before they asked to be talked to.

Yeah, I learned a lot about 13-year olds this summer. I learn more about 13-year olds every day.

As far as I am concerned, they are still about the most underestimated age group on the planet.

It's going to be a kick seeing them run things before you know it.

Spring Awakening plays at the Paramount Oct. 14-19 only.

Lauri Hennessey has written this column for ten years, and runs a public relations business. Her oldest of three children is 13... going on 30.