Let me tell you about Sue Fix, the mother of Ashley Fix, who died six years ago, a month after her 15 birthday.

Maybe you never knew Ashley. But it was hard not to on Vashon Island. She sang at the basketball games. She acted in plays. She painted.

But, as most people in my community know, one day in March of 2001, Ashley decided to leave the high school and take a ride to another girl’s house for lunch. The girl decided to drive a little crazy on Monument Road, the road kids "drag-race" on frequently. Ashley, one of five kids in the car, and not wearing a seatbelt, was thrown from the car.

That was it. All those talents. All those dreams. All those hours of love, guidance and caring from Sue and Jeff Fix – what did they mean once Ashley made the decision to get in the car?

And, as Sue has learned since then, Ashley didn’t want to get in the car. She was a good kid. She had only just turned 15 years old, but she knew the rules. No driving with teenagers. Her mom had drilled it into her repeatedly. At first Ashley told the other kids she couldn’t go. And, when they pressured her, she reluctantly agreed, saying, “Please don’t tell my mom I did this.”

That one instant was what changed Ashley’s future, as well as the futures of Jeff and Sue Fix. And of Ashley’s brother Adam Fix, then 12.

The driver went on to serve 15 weeks in a juvenile detention center. She sent a note of apology. Her dad called Ashley’s parents to say he was sorry.

Many people asked the Fix family why they didn’t sue the girl. Sue Fix doesn’t understand that. After all, she said, Ashley’s gone. Nothing will bring her back.

And now, I keep thinking one thought. What can be learned? How can we make sense of something that is senseless? Sue did all the right things. She talked to her daughter. She set boundaries. There were no signs for her. Nothing to prepare her for this sudden loss of a life that had only begun.

But she has learned some things – and is hoping maybe those things can help others.

“After Ashley died, I was so mad at myself for giving so much time to work,” she said. “I was always working, always away from my family. And I wished I could have had all of that time back,” she said.

Sue had been a realtor at John L. Scott. After her daughter died, she changed her career and became an assistant at the office. She now works more from home, and spends more time with her son Adam.

Sue said the tragedy has given her inspiration to tell other kids to listen to their parents, and follow their instincts.

“Know that your parents love you,” she said. “You are so important to your family, and to this world. Don’t risk it making bad decisions.”

There is never a moment when Ashley is gone from Sue’s mind. Her pictures are all around the house. She wears Ashley’s jewelry, and talks about her all of the time. And she wonders about Ashley.

“I wonder who Ashley would be now,” she said. “I was so proud of her. I don’t have my playmate any more to go shopping with,” she said.

Sue takes comfort when she remembers something that happened right before Ashley died. They had an argument, because Ashley wanted to do something and Sue said no. Ashley was angry for a few days. Then she asked her mom for a new comforter cover. Sue said she wouldn’t make it until Ashley talked to her again. Ashley threw her arms around her mom and hugged her, kissing her on the lips. As Ashley went to pull away, Sue said, “Just let me hang onto you. I don’t want to let you go.”

So today – Sue Fix goes on. She holds fast to her son Adam, and cherishes him. She gives advice to other parents whenever she can – watch your children. Know what they are doing. Talk to them. Get them to listen to your advice. Get them to realize that one mistake is all it takes.

And she gives this message, as she did when she wrote a letter to Vashon High School, “Please know that your parents have an unconditional love for you that need never be questioned. Even when you are at the worst of odds with each other, I’m here to tell you that this is a plain and simple fact of life. Your parents cherish you. I’m begging you to slow down, think about your choices and be safe, always, because you are all very special, and you are all loved.”

Lauri Hennessey has written this column on family and parenting for 11 years and it runs in several Robinson newspapers.