When I met my future husband I got more than I bargained for in the form of his irrepressible mother Charlotte Elaine Tollefson Gaddis. It was only after her death Saturday morning at 5:05 a.m. on the 4th floor of Ballard Swedish that she was uncharacteristically still and silent.

When Charlotte’s health problems actually clipped her wings such that I did more of her errands it was clear her 20+ years in Ballard had left quite a mark, almost like the dancing footsteps on Broadway. Just the mention of her name at the bank, Bartell’s Pharmacy, QFC, LT Nails or Sons of Norway could illicit an exuberant response. Her gold Saturn was the one with the license plate holder, Ballard’s Favorite Herbal Life Lady.

After retiring from what was always called “the phone company,” Charlotte pursued social justice causes with Lutheran Peace Fellowship and Phinney Ridge Lutheran Church. She met the love of the second act of her life, Bob Gaddis, at his workplace at Fleury’s Tire on Leary Way. When she moved to a 4th floor apartment at Ballard Landmark on June 4th there was a view of where she met Bob over a flat tire. Part of the reason she hated to leave her duplex near Adams School was that it was a veritable love note from her late husband. ‘I love you’ stenciled over the ceiling of their bed, inside the microwave and a closet full of Valentine’s Day cards that were the largest ones that he could find.

Charlotte was sometimes the despair of her five children, probably to the delight of her 11 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren, all of whom gathered just three weeks ago to belatedly celebrate her 80th birthday. She was outside of her children’s control. When she was supposed to be picking up an antibiotic ASAP she drove to Fife. On her 78th birthday she attended the Ian Burk trial in support of justice for the death of Native American woodcarver John T. Williams. She wondered if family had seen the video clip of her protesting outside the courthouse.

For several years she rode in the red convertible in front of the Norwegian Ladies Chorus in the Syttende Mai parade. “I didn’t know your mother-in-law was in the chorus,” friends would say.” She wasn’t in the choir and she wasn’t Norwegian but she hated to miss the Norwegian Happy Hour at the Sons of Norway Lodge. In fact she attended their May event after a morning at the Ballard Swedish Emergency Department.

Charlotte always purchased a copy of Real Change from Terry in front of Bartell Drugs. She loved watermelon with a passion and read every word of The Seattle Times in the morning before taking her medication. She had her nails done and didn’t like to be seen without her make-up. After a fall that resulted in a skull fracture she gave me directions on freezing shrimp in her refrigerator and forbade the doctors from anything that might harm her mohair jacket. Charlotte was stubborn, impulsive, impatient and utterly beloved throughout Ballard. “Outstanding,” she would often say, “That is just outstanding.”

After resisting a move from her apartment for years she considered Ballard Landmark home as soon as everything, from hat boxes to wall-mounted television, was in place. Within two days she had signed up for an outing for Emerald Downs. She was excited about living there, with a backdoor to the market and activities at every turn.

Charlotte Laqua was born in Tappen, North Dakota in 1932 and graduated from Fife High School (because Milton didn’t have one). She had five children in the space of five years, two months to the day (no twins) who all graduated from Sammamish High School within six years. In photos over the years she looks more like Betty Grable than a mother of four boys and a daughter.

Her faith was her essence but the right outfit for church was also important, especially the hat and heels. She was someone who could have a stent put in her heart and stop for a hamburger on the way home. In the space of a year she bounced back from two surgeries, cancer treatment, skull fracture and an eye infection. Despite health problems she didn’t even qualify for assisted living until two weeks before her death. On the day before she died she was still plotting to go home to her new apartment, in between specifying the where, when and how of a funeral service.

My mother-in-law sometimes made me crazy; alternating between being demanding and a pillar of strength. She fought her move as though it was the end of her life, but then was completely brave and accepting when that came to pass.

We were very different in style but we both knew that she had raised children who loved her and had the ability to love others deeply because of her. As a daughter-in-law the bar was high and it wasn’t always possible for me to like her. As she faced death, with a room overlooking the Ballard Bridge, in the neighborhood that had become her beloved small town I realized that I loved her after all. The day before she died, choosing only comfort care rather than any extraordinary measures, she said something that the writer in me wrote down instinctively

“No mother has ever been so blessed,” she said of her children. When she held out her arms I let myself hold, and be held.

Charlotte Elaine Tollefson Gaddis, January 10, 1932-August 11, 2012
Service at Phinney Ridge Lutheran Church, August 18th at 11 a.m.