Polo-preps wielding guns say ‘The Party’s Over’
On September 21 officers responded to an assault at the 9200 block of 8th Avenue Northwest. The victim, born in 1995, told officers that she was having a small party with friends when a group of unknown, uninvited individuals tried to enter her home. Two black males, both wearing polo shirts -- one red, one blue -- tried to enter the home. When they were told to leave, one of the suspects punched the victim/resident in her jaw. The suspects were pushed back to the sidewalk by party guests and the victim tried again to make them leave. One of the suspects, brandishing a silver pistol said to her, “Don’t think I wont pistol whip you [obscenity].” The suspect then punched the victim in the side of the head, knocking her unconscious. A neighbor overheard the altercation and yelled to the suspects that he was going to call the police. The suspect then pointed a black gun at the neighbor and then at others in the crowd, yelling obscenities… The suspects then disbanded. Seattle Fire Department treated the victim and recommended to go to the hospital, but she denied any further treatment.
Mr. Clean curses cops and beats man in alley, says 'Go mop yourself'
On September 21 officers responded to an assault that occurred at the 100 block of Northwest 85th Street. The victim told officers that there was a male and female arguing in the alley outside his house. He said the male was bald, clean-shaven and in his early 20’s, having the aspect of a young and more handsome Mr. Clean. After listening to them yell slurs at each other for over 15 minutes, the victim went out to tell them to leave. When he got to the alley, the female was gone, and Mr. Clean was sitting on some garbage cans alone. The victim told Mr. Clean to go clean Salmon Bay after a heavy rain. The suspect became belligerent and yelled bubbles of obscenities. He said, “Sponge you!” and “Go mop yourself,” with the cleanest scented breath the victim had ever smelled with his scent-feeler. Then the victim told the suspect he was "calling the cops" and the suspect said, “Clean you!" and "Clean the cleaning cops!” Mr. Clean wielded what looked like an eraser sponge, dish rag or a chain, and hit the victim in the head several times then slipped away quickly on lavender soap suds, leaving a trail of shining, stain-free pavement. The victim’s girlfriend came out and noticed the Midnight Ocean Breeze scent lingering in the alley air… she paused and took a deep breath and cried softly to herself…. but then she saw that her boyfriend was bleeding and called the police. The victim needed stitches and sought treatment at Swedish Hospital in Ballard. Ballard remains soiled and aching to “Get cleaned!”… ZANG!…Where is The Batman when you need him?
POOF…Cig-slave strikes again…danger...the smoke may never clear
On September 18 officers were dispatched to a burglary that occurred at the 200 block of Northwest Market Street. The business owner said that when he arrived to work he noticed that the back door was open. 80 packs of smokes were missing from the store. The suspect also took a keyboard and a mouse, but not the computer monitor from the business desk. Cash was also taken from the register. The complainant noticed unopened cigarette containers in the alleyway. The business owner thinks that the crook must have a key to his shop because there was no forced entry. Approximately $1476.00 of smokable material was stolen.
