By Amanda Knox
Ten years ago tonight, my friend was raped and murdered by a burglar when she was home alone in the apartment we shared while studying abroad in Perugia, Italy.
When I look back on my memories of Meredith, what I find are beautiful, banal moments we shared in the weeks we lived side-by-side. I remember when we trudged home from the grocery store together, taking turns lugging those heavy four-packs of two-liter water bottles uphill, dodging cars speeding around the tight street corners. I remember sunbathing on the terrace, her reading a mystery novel while I practiced “Hey Ya” on the guitar. I remember sipping espresso together after class while Laura and Filomena, our Italian roommates, watched soap operas. Meredith complimented me for showing restraint, eating no more than two cookies with my coffee. She said she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from eating the whole bag. Once, while out on a walk, I discovered a hole-in-the-wall vintage store, and ran home to tell Meredith about it. We went back together and she bought a sparkly silver dress from the 60s and said she wanted to wear it for New Years back home. I remember when she handed me her camera and asked me to take a picture of her by her bedroom window because she wanted to show her family the incredible view of the valley below. I remember that I loved her accent. I remember the time I wanted to get dressed up and she happily loaned me a pair of her tights, like a big sister. And I remember the last time I saw her, ten years ago today, slinging her purse over her shoulder and waving goodbye to me on her way out to meet up with her British friends.
All these memories feel both very close and very distant. Distant, because I have to dig through a decade of suffering just to reach them. My memories of Meredith are buried beneath the horrific autopsy photos and crime scene footage I saw, the slurs I was called, the death threats I received (and still receive), the false accusations I fought, the years of wrongful imprisonment I endured, the multiple trials and slanderous headlines that juxtaposed our names and faces, unfairly interlocking her death with my identity.
But despite all this, these memories still feel very close, in part because Meredith was my closest friend in a new and exciting time in our lives. But I think it’s also because I’ve never been allowed to mourn her.
There are some people who believe I have no right to mourn Meredith. They believe that I had something to do with her murder—I didn’t—or that Meredith has been forgotten in the wake of my own struggle for justice—she hasn’t. Either way, they feel that Meredith and I are inextricably linked, so it’s simply not fair that I haven’t lost everything, as she has. They are wrong.
This day of mourning belongs to everyone whose lives Meredith touched. And certainly, there are many people who loved and knew Meredith far better than I did. But something Meredith’s friends, family, supporters, and I all have in common is that Meredith’s death changed our lives. It opened our eyes to the terrible fact that, sometimes, innocent people suffer, that their lives can be taken away from them in an instant. We are all driven to do something about it—to speak out against unrepentant killers or incompetent and cruel prosecutors—even though no one can ever give Meredith back her life, or me the years of life I lost to wrongful imprisonment.
I hate it that my memories of her are buried beneath the years of suffering Raffaele and I endured in the wake of her murder. And it’s depressing to know that mourning her comes at the price of being criticized for anything I say or don’t say today. But most depressing of all is that Meredith isn’t here, when she deserves to be. She is painfully missed by everyone who loved her. I miss her, and I’m grateful for the memories of our time together.
This was a beautifully written heart felt tribute to a friend whose life was taken by a vile sociopath, not a way for someone to feed her narcissism or "make a career" out of her trauma and pain. Meredith had the worst possible ending to her life one can imagine and that was incredibly tragic. Arguably, equally so was the horror that Amanda Knox and her former boyfriend had to endure for years and years. Anyone who doubts that Amanda did not suffer because of her wrongful imprisonment obviously has little empathy for those who have been wrongfully arrested, convicted or put in prison. To those who still believe that her and her former boyfriend were guilty or to those that feel that she is trying to profit from her living nightmare, I wonder how willing they might be to step into her shoes for a moment, to face what she has experienced, or how they would feel if someone castigated them were they to find themselves in a similar situation.
If I were to speak to Amanda Knox I would say that I'm feel profoundly sorry for her that she had to lose a friend in such a horrible way and that she had to lose years of her life and her sense of security because of the machinations of a corrupt public official. I would also tell her that I wish her all the best that life has to offer her and my hope that one day the pain from all of these memories will not be as deep.
While it is right and fitting to remember the 10th anniversary of the death of a friend, no one should expect that Meredith shall be remembered forever.
A young girl robbed of her life by a criminal who was known to Italian police...Rudy Guede had just been caught in the weeks prior, having broken into a kindergarten school in Milan. He was found inside with school property in his possession. More important, he was found to be in possession of a large knife, burglary tools, and items stolen in other burglaries in Perugia...a lap top computer from a legal office and a ladies gold watch from a neighbor of Guedes.
But for some strange and still unrevealed reason the Milan police did not take Guede into custody. Instead they called Perugia police and then released him supposedly to Perugia police??? and simply put him on a train back to Perugia.
Also in these prior (to Miss Kerchers murder) weeks Guede was caught inside another apartment. He threatened the owner who was awoken by the late night intruder with a knife! The man was able to escape and reported the crime to police. The police did nothing...which is again extremely odd given that finding and investigating a black criminal suspect in Perugia was not all that tough given the low percent of blacks living in the city.
Guede remained free so that a few weeks later he could break into Miss Kerchers apartment. Likely while she was attending an evening out with friends; but bad luck brought her home while the burglary was in progress. The facts and evidence to this are numerous and irrefutable.
Miss Kercher interrupted a burglary and Guede turned that crime into a far greater and evil one. He raped and then murdered Meredith. Again, facts and scientific evidence are so strong for this that any other conclusion would be a simple and crazy conspiracy theory.
And yet a nutty prosecutor allowed a simple and conclusive evidence trail to turn into a mockery of justice and law. So absurd and fueled by salacious tabloid style press (pretty much all there is in Italy) which whipped up the vulnerable masses of Italy into mindless wild speculation.
A simple case was whipped into sex, lies, and a lack of video tape. Forget the scientific data, forget the facts and evidence, forget the beating and threats by police. Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito did this!
And we then witnessed a legal spectacle in Italy so absurd that one could almost believe that an Italian cruise ship captain would actually show off to his girlfriend how close he could steer to a rocky island. That will never happen right? Sigh...
And so besides a poor dear young girl losing her life in her prime, we also have another poor young girl and a guy being vilified and tortured still. 10 years later. Death threats! Shame on you Italy for not sorting this mess you allowed out. Sure you released Amanda and Raffaele from jail...but not from the prison of doubt.
You failed completely when you did not investigate how some of the police lied...dumb transparent lies. Or how the CSI leader lied and refused to reveal the complete testing data. Or how a convicted of official abuse prosecutor not only still has his job, but was even promoted.
Abusive interrogations. Burned up computer hard drive...5 IIRC. Missing interrogation tapes or can you simply accept the "we forgot to push record" excuses? Absurd life ruining mistakes and you DO NOT INVESTIGATE the investigators.
And you know! You know the answers to the questions. What a shame that you are so careless with young innocent lives and with grieving forever broken parents who were lied to and used. It is unforgivable Italy.
But no...Meredith should not be remembered forever. Had she died in a car accident, no one would ever know her name. She is remembered now only because of the complete mess Italy made of her murder case. Not only did the poor girl lose her life but many others had their lives upturned so that they may never be quiet and normal ever again. The dead are dead. The living abused should be remembered and re-payed for the torture they were and are still forced to endure.
After ten years the real criminal in this case is about to be released. And his enablers should be ashamed of that. And those who allowed this injustice still need investigated and punished. 10 years... and nothing.
This will happen over and over Italy ...until you clean up your judiciary. And yes, I understand that we here in the US also have judicial issues. But we are looking at this one glaring case of your's right now.
You should investigate the investigators. Will you please?
Meredith was not your friend. Stop using her murder to talk about yourself and keep yourself in the limelight. Seek professional mental health. We've all heard and seen the tapes with you and your mother when you were in jail. Innocent people do not behave the way you did. If you stopped talking about, people might forget. THE ONLY VICTIM HERE IS MEREDITH. LEAVE HER ALONE.
I am glad you wrote this memorial. It saddens me that Meredith's family was also victimized when they were fooled by the Italian justice system and their own lawyer into believing you were guilty of her murder. I hope everyone involved finds peace if they haven't already.
Amanda, I remember your story...I remember listening to the news and hearing how you were judged so harshly and judgments made so quickly against you...I remember hurting for you and your family as my thoughts were that of a parent with empathy for you and your family, praying that your innocence would be claimed. I am happy for you today that you are the person you are! And for all who have misjudged you back then and even today...I say, when they fall from their self-righteous pedestals, may they look up and realize that you have forgiven them in there ignorance. Bless you Amanda.
You have a way with words, of that there is no doubt. That people can be drawn into your web of lies, of that there is no doubt also. You once used your physical beauty to lure people in but those days are gone now so you use words instead.
Know this though Ms Knox. Sentient beings with a thirst for knowledge and an IQ in double digits see right through you. We know what you did. You know we know what you did.
Your continued trolling of Meredith's family, thinly disguised as some kind of tribute is the action of a sociopath. You want to openly boast about what you did because you enjoyed it so much but you know you can't. That will come in a death bed confession many years hence because you will not be able to die without letting everyone know for sure that it was you.
Even then, the collection of middle aged misfits and young idiots who hang on your every word will say that you were driven mad at the end by the incessant nastiness of the people who, in truth, saw right through you.
If you were even remotely as intelligent as you seem to think you are, you would look at your own court transcripts and compare them to the many YouTube videos you appear in and also the pathetic excuse for a book that you wrote. The contradiction seems come thick and fast with only one of them (your description of Meredith as your best friend when every man and his dog knows she was repulsed by you) being laid bare in one of the comments above.
To be a good liar, you need a great memory. You Ms Knox have the memory of a goldfish.
Cara Amanda,ti scrivo in italiano perché così non perdi la pratica della lingua. Ho sempre seguito il tuo caso qui in Italia e sono sempre stata convinta della tua innocenza e che tu sia stata una vittima del circo mediatico che l'omicidio ha creato.In più tu,bella, giovane e americana eri la vittima ideale per la stampa e per i media.Mi dispiace che tu abbia dovuto passare tutto questo in una terra meravigliosa come la mia dove avresti dovuto essere felice e spensierata nei tuoi 20 ann. Non odiarci.Ti voglio bene
Absolutely touching and well said Amanda. Thank you for sharing this.