With landlords like these, who needs enemies?
On Sept. 7 a man called police from the 1700 block of S.W. Graham St. to report his landlord had tried to drive over him. The victim said he’s been renting from the landlord for three years, and the landlord has been consistently delinquent in taking care of his lordly duties. The most recent case was a broken refrigerator that fizzled out a few weeks prior. After prodding his landlord, the victim said someone delivered a used fridge that did not work. He was promised a new fridge would be coming sometime soon, but complained to police that during that time medications and foods for him and his family obviously went bad. On the 7th, the landlord finally showed up with a dorm mini-fridge instead of the full size option and allegedly threw in down on the steps while “rudely” saying “Here is your fridge.” The victim followed the landlord back to his car and demanded to know when a real fridge would arrive. During that confrontation he told police the suspect lurched forward twice, nearly running him over in his 90s GMC Yukon SUV. Police are reaching out to the landlord for his side of the story.

Molten nacho cheese attack
According to Seattle Police a female in her mid-30s walked into the 7-11 convenience store at the corner of 35th Ave. S.W. and S.W. Barton St. in West Seattle a little before 1 a.m. on Sept. 9 with a serious hankering for a snack. The woman grabbed a bag of Doritos, opened them up, walked over to the store’s liquid cheese dispenser (generally reserved for those stale tortilla chips) and started squirting liquid gold onto her snack chips for double the processed cheese experience.SPD wrote “when the clerk informed the woman he would have to charge her for the cheese, she flew into a rage and began screaming at the man, before she threw the cheese-filled bag at his head, spattering him with hot orange goo.” She fled towards a silver Chevy Malibu and the clerk ran outside to get a license plate number, but she punched him in the back as he approached. The victim call 911 to report the sodium-rich assault (he was OK, it wasn’t too hot) and police responded. Strangely enough, the suspect also called police (although she did not identify herself) to say she would swing by the Southwest Precinct to discuss the incident, but never actually showed up. No arrest has been made at this time.

Crimes reported from Sept. 9 to Sept. 15

Robberies by block: 2600 California Ave. S.W., 4700 42nd Ave. S.W., 5900 Delridge Way S.W., 9200 8th Ave. S.W.

Burglaries by block: 4800 46th Ave. S.W., 8100 6th Ave. S.W., 9600 California Ave. S.W., 7900 13th Ave. S.W., 5000 California Ave. S.W., 4500 38th Ave. S.W., 3000 S.W. Bradford St., 4100 S.W. Edmunds St., 5900 45th Ave. S.W., 1300 44th Ave. S.W., 6500 37th Ave. S.W., 3200 S.W. Avalon Way, 4500 W. Marginal Way S.W.

Car prowls by block: 4200 W. Marginal Way S.W., 9400 27th Ave. S.W., 4000 Delridge Way S.W., 8000 Fauntleroy Way S.W.

Vehicle thefts by block: 6500 29th Ave. S.W., 8000 Fauntleroy Way S.W., 3600 45th Ave. S.W., corner of 44th Ave. S.W./S.W. Alaska St./ 7500 24th Ave. S.W., 2800 S.W. Barton St., 8400 13th Ave. S.W., 4800 38th Ave. S.W., 6700 21st Ave. S.W., 7500 35th Ave. S.W., 9400 35th Ave. S.W., 9200 Delridge Way S.W., 11400 Marine View Dr. S.W., 7100 35th Ave. S.W., 9000 20th Ave. S.W.