Gifted

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
Not a creature was snoring except for my spouse
Who though he could wake up the dead with his clatter
Still blissfully slept, unaware of the matter

When up on the rooftop what noise did I hear
But the sound of St. Nick and his tiny reindeer
Who with a quick nod and a wink of his eye
And a sip from his flask, down the chimney would fly

But instead of attending directly to work
He said I’d been granted, as kind of a perk
The chance to try something brand new I might like
Or else he would give me an exercise bike

And now I adore my new “Wife Only Phone”
Complete with the “Buy What You Want, Dear” ringtone
With an app that sends flowers, holds my purse in the store
Puts the toilet seat down and might sleep, but won’t snore!

Carol Smith